Last month, I found out I was genderclay, and I want to share my experience here. First of all, I want to thank noname-nonamorous for coining the term. If they(?) find this blog post, I would like to chat with them about their experience. Second, while some of this is meant to go onto wikis to provide further information, this is just how I experience gender.
My gender is highly customizable, and aspects of it can be categorized into three parts: gender euphoria, gender dysphoria, and identity.
Gender dysphoria can be targeted at anything, or be completely generalized. The intensity can be controlled too, but I dbn't know if I can control how it manifests. Euphoria is the same, just in the opposite direction. I can even feel dypshoric and euphoric about the exact same thing simultaneously, which feels kind of weird.
The identity itself is what I can feel in my chest when thinking about my gender, and is separate from euphoria and dysphoria. Like the other two, they can conflict, like a woman who has dysphoria over being a woman. This isn't limited to typical genders; I can feel xenogenders as well. One of the transphobia arguments is that taking gender self-identification to the extreme will lead to racial and age self-identification. Fortunately, for them, I can feel a xenogender based on being a black man, but that is still a gender, not a race. Checkmate, transphobes.
One of the trans counterpoints to transphobia is that people can't choose/change their gender. This makes me feel like an anomaly—a man faking genders. I worry that my experience of a gender is not valid or not *really* that gender because I'm taking it from a description. How could I really be be that gender if I'm only partaking in it casually and temporarily? Also, I feel uncomfortable with the fact that I can choose to be/identify as any gender I want, something some transphobes think. It's like my existence is a problem. Because I don't have anyone that relates w.r.t. being genderclay, I feel alone.
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